When will I fly when will I soar?!?
February 28, 2012
February 27, 2012
February 25, 2012
Today is
One of those days when I can actually feel my sanity slipping away from me... I feel troubled, anxious and borderline sad yet I can't pinpoint why. I guess this is what happens when you avoid confronting your feels for long enough...now I can't I just can't verbalize nor figure out what on earth is wrong with me!?!? Like out of all the things that I have going on (and going wrong) in my life exactly which one has got me in this deplorable state of being, where I'm not at all.
February 24, 2012
For my Friends :)
And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well, you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin' from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Oh, that's what friends are for
[I really do hope with all my heart that my friends know that they can count on me]
February 23, 2012
Today
I miss my friends so so much that it hurts. I long for them so much that I feel there's a hollow space inside of my chest. I feel like having coffee with them or a frozen yogurt. I miss their faces, to have them at arms reach.
"...A loving friend can stick closer than family."
Prov 18:24
February 17, 2012
February 7, 2012
Stale Words
For some reason that escapes me, today, right now I feel like talking about the past (what a surprise!) I have all these words in my head, in my mind ready to come out. Words, feeling, things that I should have said 5 years ago, 6 years ago, well years ago. But I didn't, I ate them up, I store them for later because I honestly thought I could say them anytime I wanted, little did I know that words and feelings have a very short expiration date and that we need to say what we feel when we have the need to say them otherwise they "go bad".
And I have been holding so much, for so long...I have beat myself up again and again, I've cried and I've drank to forget those words, those feelings that I never had the courage to say, to admit them. I feared that my words would enable change, I thought, no I was convinced that if I didn't talk about it or thought about it than it wasn't real and then things would not change and things would have remain the same.
I knew so little about life, so naive I was that I thought I could stop change from happening, change! the only constants in one's life is change: things, feelings, places, the weather, relationships, people they all change. And I know now, I know very well now that I can't say them to either of you. I understand that it will be futile because my words now lack context, validity, meaning and purpose. Because you are not who you use to be, I'm not who I was, and above all we are not who we were.
February 5, 2012
February 2, 2012
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