"The Most Depressing Day of the Year"

   My cousin told me that yesterday was the most depressing day of the year and when I baffled ask why, she told me that yesterday was the 3rd week of the new year and by now most people who had resolutions, goals, etc for the new year and didn't keep them, broke them or never even started them are beginning to acknowledge the fact that the failed yet again. As I heard all this I couldn't help but to feel dumbfounded and a bit mad.

   I mean yes I understand the disappointment that comes with being unable to stick by our words, I know exactly how it feels to see how that you which to achieve so much slips away like water through your fingers, just because you were unable to commit to something or to change your old patterns. I know exactly how it feels, trust me. 

   Even thought it feels (at least to me) as if new years was "ages ago", today is only the 17th day of 366 days (at least it was when I wrote this) that lies ahead of us. What do I mean?! We have the whole year ahead of us. Did you broke your new year's resolution already? So what? Big deal! get your stuff together  and try again; this time more determined and with the knowlegde and experience of knowing that defeat is not and option, you've been there and it wasn't a pretty place to be in.

   So dust it off and start again. No one said it will be easy, you knew it would not be easy (if so you would have conquered "this" ages ago). Even if it were august or september you're still not late. We must not forget that everyday is a new day, we get a fresh start, a clean slate every day!. Let's not forget that old patterns are hard to break is ok to struggle, but let's not dwell on the disappointments, on the let downs, if your goal was to walk 5 days a week and only made it to 3 rejoice is way more than what you did last year. Just make sure you are trying. A war is won by first winning the small battles. So let's make sure to keep our eyes on the goal it doesn't matter if we deviate a little as long as we keep on moving towards the goal, we'll be fine. 

My new wallpaper :)

     It's been so long since I saw Tiziano smile :) ... 

    "Ti voglio bene assai" 

C'est la vie!

   Today I wrote a lot about not giving up and about not losing hope even if the new years resolutions are not been worked on. I was so hopeful, fill with drive and faith, and all that good stuff. Then things went awry and my day ended on the lowest note I broke not only a resolution but a promise, I made the same mistake for the Nth time in my life and for the first time this year *sigh sigh sigh* so I couldn't help but to have a pity party for myself, which is breaking yet another resolution of mine for 2012. I truly feel awful.
   But I promise myself that this year it was going to be the year in which I'd not let myself down, that no mattered what happens I shan't lose faith in myself. So I'm going to keep my head high, my eyes on what lies ahead and my hands holding tight to my dreams. Yes today was an awful day mostly because I was annoyed and mad at myself and worst thing of not being in peace with oneself is that we can't scape ourselves anywhere we go or anywhere he hide, we are there. So today slowly but surely I forgive myself, I accept and understand that I'm human and that I'm going to indeed make mistakes but I won't forget how bad I've been feeling all day, how betrayed I felt by my own self. I choose not to forget so that I don't revisit this place and these feelings. "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok."
   So today it wasn't "my day" but tomorrow I shall conquer! Thank God for his mercy and for making each day new. It doesn't matter what you did yesterday or today tomorrow is a brand new day, brand new, a clean slate in which we can write a new chapter. Here's to hoping the new chapters won't include old mistakes.

Life; Love

Take a chance on me ;)

Twenty-twelve

srce:google.com/images--design by Aimee Creation@Etsy

   ABOUT 2012 this is my year, the year in which I get to see the fruit of my labor, where a lot of things come to a full circle. I understand the pitfalls of saying "a new year a new me" and that is not my mind set at all. I know very well that the me from 11:59pm is the same from 12:01am, but I know so much more that I knew last year. And my mind set is definitely different than the one I had last year. This year I know and I declare that is my year, a year in which I shall exercise what Viktor Frankl calls "the last freedom of the human being" and that is my freedom to choose my attitude towards the good, the bad and the ugly that this year brings. 

  My mind is set to make this year different from the previous ones all year long I will be grateful for everything, I read somewhere that if you are not making mistakes than you are not taking chances, for that this year my mind is set to make a lot of mistakes, to take a lot chances, to step on new grounds, socially and emotionally, to come out of my shell a bit more, TO BE a lot more. I know the time will come when my resolution might feel shaken and where I might not feel as keen as I am now to take chances and to put up with the scars. But I will try with all my might to keep my mind focus and my heart set in my pursuit of being all I can be. 

   Last but not lead my new years resolutions: 

• To give myself a chance 
• To love myself more therefore loving others more 
• To "just keep swimming"no matter how hard it gets
• To be more disciplined 
• To persevere 

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."

-Henry David Thoreau