The Little Things

Memento of ours

Fue amor

"Este clima, esta brisa, esta paz en la sombra ya los he vivido antes. 
Dias como el de hoy me recuerdan a los dias contigo, los dias de nosotros.Ese tiempo tan fugaz tan bello tan intenso tan a full. Cierro los ojos y te respiro, tu olor en la brisa tus ojos en la brisa tu sonrisa en la brisa tu amor en la brisa. Todo tu en la brisa. Es este dia nuevo en verdad? o es uno de nuestros dias que ha vuelto y nos ha encontrado asi, tan lejos, pero siempre nosotros."

Nia T.

Yes yes yes!!

I got my driver's license! xD

And I look mad good in the picture! (double win!)
BOOM SHAKA LAKA!! 

Smiiiiiile!

@Enakei

My train of thought

   My insomnia is back! And in full force is like no matter how tired (exhausted even) I am, I can't fall sleep is like my brain won't shut down. So last night while "enjoying" my insomnia I made a list of things that brain thought were more important than sleeping:

• Highlander (our goldfish) is really sick.
• I need to buy more chocolate almond milk. 
• How many calories did I eat today? I ate 2 cookies did I overeat?.
• I really hope I can the "right shoes" for my skinny black jeans.
• I have a psychology presentation in 2 weeks. 
• 2012 is the year of the dragon. 
• Omg! Is almost summer.
• Should I buy a dress for graduation. 
• I could really really go for a run right now. 
• I started thinking about some research I've been doing for my Psychology classes and how they could have been better, or how I'd have felt if I participated and what not.
• I really hope Heejun does good next week. 
• I really need to buy and umbrella (a red one). 
• When can I go to B&N to buy those Moleskin sketchbooks.
• Where can I buy good quality watercolors. 
• Did I order those notebooks from Muji or not? 
• When will my Bigbang mini album arrive? Will it come with a poster? Should I order it through iTunes in the meanwhile?
• I really like TOP's headphones for Soul by Luda... but they are green. 
• Should I watch a movie? 
• Where's my black nail polish. 
• Omg! Omg! Omg! I'm taking my driving test on wednesday what if I fail!?!? 
• I really don't want to fail my driving test. 
• Why didn't I vote for that Flo-rida song for grad, can't even remember my vote. 
• Should I dye my hair? 
• I really want to get new vans in cyan, so they match TOP's hair. 
• What should I do for summer break?
• Ahhhg I really don't like working on sundays. 
• Can't wait to go back to yoga. 
• My wisdom tooth is really driving me crazy!!! 
• Brain, shut up and go to sleep! 

 And etc, etc... Is like a vicious circle in which I think in the most unimportant and mundane things but yet my brain feels like he needs to be thinking of them... *sigh*

Today

Was one of those weird days when I knew exactly what I wanted (out of life), where I felt like "everything made sense", that I made sense, that my life made sense. That the path I've chosen was indeed my path for a moment I didn't feel inadequate. I felt like I really could do this thing (psychology), like I really could effect a change in someone, in the world. Is because of this feeling that doesn't last that I've endure (and still do) all the days that don't make sense in which I question my life choices (and career path) and yes it vanishes but the effect lingers long enough for me to just keep on walking on this path, on this journey.

Somewhere over the rainbow

"...the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true."

  I'm not dreaming my dream(s), granted I am not by any means over the rainbow, but Dorothy had dreams even in sepia-toned Kansas. I in the other hand do not. And it's really cutting me down to size. As of now I'm not sure if I don't dare to dream or I just simply can't. I really don't know where they went or when exactly I stopped cherishing them. Sometimes is like I want to dream but I don't even know what to dream. I mean what can I dream? My previous ones slowly turned to nightmares. 

  Please often say to "dream big because dreaming is free", this message is everywhere in movies, in tv shows: them people dreaming dreams, people going after their dreams, people living the dream. And it makes me wonder: why can't I? also dare to dream. I really do want to believe in my dreams and hold them tight but I think life has made me a bit of a cynic. I see much to often people living my dreams, people who didn't even wanted this "things", these events happening in their life, people who were just going through life doing their thing are living my dreams, I see them just coasting through life like life is a fun free ride. And that makes me wonder why? why? and I'm not going to lie it might have made me a little bitter. 

  Dreaming is not free, dreaming cost a lot; when your dream comes crashing down in flames is like some part of you dies with them, like even if you move on and get new ones, is not the same. I guess I've failed the part of dreaming new dreams. Some part of me has this fire inside this complete conviction in dreaming and going for it, and the other part of me really doesn't care. After all what is dreaming? What good can come from it? Ugh! I got so much division in my heart. 

"If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?"

La Espera

PENSANDO QUE EN CUALQUIER MOMENTO 
ELLA LLEGARÍA 
CONSULTABA SU RELOJ Y SONREÍA 
SE FUE BORRANDO LENTAMENTE EL SOL EN EL SENDERO 
Y ENVEJECIÓ PENSANDO EN ELLA 
JUNTO AL FUEGO

Sunny Rain

Sunny Rain by Leonid Afremov

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