It's almost my birthday

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  My birthday is around the corner and I'm already preparing myself for a crappy birthday. I have this "thing" that is just like I know for sure it will suck. First of all my birthday will be mid-week which basically means everybody works and I'll pretty much be home alone up until 6 pm (that is when my mom gets home) and my closest friends are and will still be out of town. In the last few months I've been so busy with school, work and what not that I pretty much been out of the loop being an island and stuff. Also I've been so emotional lately that even cartoons make me (damn you hormones!) so I know that the slightest thing that happens or does not happens on my birthday WILL actually get to me.
  On the other hand is not that I buy in the 'omg i'm getting old" thing I actually cherish getting to live another year but this year getting older feels burdensome and frustrating mainly because I have made it another year where I haven't accomplish anything: I still don't have my degree, I still don't have a driver license, I have not seen the places I want to see...  Is so frustrating I have this long list of things I just have not done and that infuriates me so much and makes me feels frustrated. It's like I have my wings clipped.
   Which makes me wonder: when? when will it be my time to fly? to do these things I want to do so much but that seem so unattainable. It's like everything gets in the way life, murphy's law, money, etc... is like is never my time and right now I just wonder will it ever be my time? when? Oh right this was about my birthday, it's not like I'm setting myself up for defeat and all that I'm just looking at the facts, I don't want to get my hopes up and think otherwise because for me to have a good birthday a lot of facts/things will have to come together in a miracle like concoction and I don't see that happening it's better if I keep it real. So yeah here's hoping I make it unscathed and I don't turn into an emotional wreck.